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“So I think of Orchids”

January 14, 2010

Meditation on Orchids

"So I think of Orchids"

I was reading the Anais Nin again.  “Fire”.  Maybe it’s my obsession with orchids or maybe the line just really stood out but “meditating” on orchids has become my new thing.  I mean a truly conscious act.  Before I used to do this quite a bit but just not as a conscious practice.  My real first orchid I got when I was a way at school (I had one before that but it was kind of more my ex’s thing), I’m not sure why but I was so attached to it.  It just kind of stood for so many things at the time, still do.  When things got rough I would just focus on what each flower looked like, the leaves, the pot, the stem, the buds.  It was just kind of calming and calming to know it was just at the apartment waiting for me.  So I see this line from Nin, she’s talking about how much she loves all these people in her life and doesn’t want to hurt any of them.  It’s kind of driving her nuts.  She’s just overwhelmed by the whole situation, I guess.  “So I think of orchids.” she says.

So, lately I’ve kind of used that line to remind myself to slow down.  Not to stress about things I have no control over, not to let my thoughts wonder into the would have, should have, could have’s, those pointless places where you can get lost so easily.  (In Nin’s case though I want to beat her up sometimes cause she should be worried and feel bad in my eyes, for all the lies and deceit. That doesn’t sit too well with me).  I’ve been thinking a lot of these tiny orchids I’ve seen around.  Anyway…

Just more of my horsing around. I’m not done with it though.

Tomorrow I’m going to go pick up my new “baby” I think. I’m excited for that.  Wanted to go today but it didn’t work out.

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