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The Life Before Life Began

June 22, 2010

June 14, 2010

I was sitting in the darkness of the living room having one of those late night chats with my mom.  At one point I started to think about how odd it felt to think about her life and my dad’s life before me, life before my brother.  It was so strange to think of her lying in a hospital bed, a fairly young version of her like I see in old photos, her fate sealed for certain that she would never have biological children.  My mom has always said she never wanted biological children but, it’s still a strange thing to think about.  It’s very bizarre to think of my father as a small boy running around a cabin near one of the thousands of lakes in Minnesota (I saw it once when I was small), to think of him spending summers with relatives he adored and felt close to.

There was a life before me.  For a brief time there was a life when there were just three, my mom, my dad, and, my brother.  There was a time when my parents were probably very different people than the ones I’ve known.  There was a time when they even saw each other as very, very different people.  It’s really mind boggling sometimes to think of the two of them growing up, on their own little trajectories, then suddenly crossing paths…

There were lives before me, lives and events that brought me here, to this place, to this now, to who I am.  Sometimes it feels like a heavy legacy to carry and sometimes…sometimes it’s just the stories that are told on a quiet evening.

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